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Hey guys! My name is Jozef, but my friends call me "Mojo." I am completely and absolutely in love with planet Earth. Back in 2004, I made it my mission to experience as much of this crazy/beautiful world as I possibly could in a lifetime. In September 2012, I moved to Brazil. These are my adventures. I hope you enjoy!

Monday, February 23, 2009

Fly Away Home

I have a tattoo of a goose.

About two weeks before I left Canada I decided to get a tattoo that would reflect the love I have for my country and commemorate my departure from it.  So, I got a tattoo of a Canada Goose taking flight.



Today, as I was walking down the streets of London, England, two Canada Geese flew overhead.  I spent the rest of the day thinking about the wonderful country I come from and the incredible friends that I have there.

I love you and I miss you.

 

Sunday, February 15, 2009

C is for C U Next Tuesday

Anyone that has ever had a friend who speaks another language or has traveled anywhere where English isn't the mother tongue will tell you that one of the first things you learn is how to curse.

Sandy and her friends were already very familiar with a lot of English profanity.  Words like bitch, ass, cock, shit and fuck were part of their standard vocabulary.  But, I was able to give them the gift of "cunt".

Cunt is quite possibly my favourite "dirty word".  It's effective, versatile and just so damn fun to say.  Personally, I only use it towards male friends (eg. "Craig, you're such a cunt!", "What a cunt you turned out to be!", "Whats up Cunty?") or when I think its funny (which is often). I also explained the brilliance of using "C-U-Next-Tuesday" when you're in a location where saying "cunt" would be frowned upon.  Sandy took a strong liking to the word and was dropping C-Bombs for the rest of the week.

In return, a plethora of German cussin' was bestowed upon me.

Asrchloch -> asshole
Schlampe -> bitch
Halts Maul -> shut the fuck up (loose translation)
Kartoffelnauser -> potato-nose (Germans are weird)
Fotze -> cunt!

Needless to say, I had some fun with those gems and I look forward to expanding my vulgar vocabulary of foreign filth as I continue my travels.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

B is (also) for Berlin

In 1986 American new wave band Berlin perplexedly climbed to the top of the charts with the profoundly shitty, "Take My Breath Away". In 2008, the city of Berlin took MY breath away!

Sandy found us a lift to Berlin using a rideshare website (think, organized hitchhiking). We met three random dudes in a parking lot, then defied the laws of physics by piling 5 full-grown adults into a slightly-larger-than-soup-can sized red two-door and headed for the autobahn. At 170km per hour the soup-can began to shake violently, leaving random nuts and bolts behind us like a metallic trail of bread crumbs. At least if we got lost we'd be able to find our way home following the scraps.

The drive into Berlin was breathtaking. We passed so many beautiful buildings and stunning monuments as we cruised through the streets. After being dropped off in the middle of the city, we bade Auf Wiedersehen to our autobahn buddies and headed for the home of Sandy's best-friend Tina. When we arrived, it was Tina's boyfriend Axel that greeted us. That's right.... Axel. Wait, it gets better; his full name is AXEL WOLF! How badass is that?! He's like a character from Mortal Kombat... there's Johnny Cage, Liu Kang, Sonya Blade and Axel Wolf.

Tina wasn't home from work yet, but Axel invited us in and put on a pot of tea. We got comfortable in the living room, Sandy and Axel did some catching up, Axel and I got to know each other a little, and it wasn't long before Tina arrived and joined us. I can't explain to you how happy Sandy and Tina were to see each other. These girls are truly in love with each other. Sandy says they are soulmates and it's impossible to argue with. The last guest to arrive was a man known simply as "Becko". We all chatted a little more, but soon it was time to start thinking about dinner. Sandy informed me that Tina, Axel and Becko are incredible chefs. In fact, creating their own recipes, they were the winners of a German Food Network television show! But, could they top the Student Sauce I had enjoyed the night before?

On this occasion it was Mr. Wolf's time. Watching Axel in the kitchen was like watching a mad scientist at work. Flying around from station to station.... chopping, mixing, stirring, frying. He knew exactly what he was doing, never needing to consult a recipe. The culinary highlight for me was the flambé because I... love... fire. So, I was captivated when Axel poured some alcohol into the wok and lit that baby up, sending a huge flame into the air. I was so impressed, I asked him to do it again. During the encore flambé, Axel accidentally singed all the hair off of his right forearm... and an eye-brow.... and he was forced to wear an eye-patch for the next few weeks... which, I believe, perfectly suits a man named Axel Wolf. It made him even more badass.


We dined like Könige und Königinnen and the wine and beer flowed like a magical river that lowers your inhibitions. After dinner we took to the streets of Berlin to find ourselves a Kneipenmeile (bar mile). I sampled many pints of delicious German beer and many shots of burning Mexican liquor. A night out with Axel and Becko felt like a night out with old friends. As we stumbled home at the end of the night, arm in arm, we sang "I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz over and over.


The next morning, Sandy, Tina and I dragged ourselves out of bed so that we could go see Berlin's most infamous landmark. Axel stayed in bed on the edge of death with one hell of a Kater.

The Berlin Wall separated West Berlin from the German Democratic Republic (East Germany) for more than 25 years. Basically, after World War II, West Germany developed into a capitalist country and experienced a period of economic growth and improving conditions, whereas East Germany developed an authoritarian government and a soviet-style planned economy. Because of this, many East Germans wanted to move to West Germany. This was an "intolerable" situation for Stalin. So, he decided to have the inner-border between the two German states closed, and a barbed-wire fence was erected.

Eventually, a fence became The Wall. The top of The Berlin Wall was lined with a smooth pipe, to make it harder to climb. It was reinforced by fencing, barbed-wire, anti-vehicle trenches, bunkers, dogs, and over 116 watchtowers. I can't even imagine what it must have been like. If you had a job or family members on the other side, you were completely cut-off from them. Although there were rules that allowed West Germans, and eventually West Berliners to apply to cross into East Germany, East Germans and East Berliners didn't have those rights. Initially, they weren't allowed to cross at all. Years later, a few exceptions were made but even if you applied for one of those reasons there were no guarantees.

Long story short (please research the long version... it's an important part of 20th century history), in 1989 a series of events happened that led to the fall of The Berlin Wall. In September, mass protests and demonstrations began in East Germany. On October 18, 1989 longtime East German leader Enrich Honecker resigned and was replaced by Egon Krenz. Tons of East German refugees had found their way into West Germany through Czechoslovakia and this was tolerated by the Krenz government. On November 9, it was decided to allow refugees to pass directly through crossing points between East and West Germany. Later that day, they modified the proposal to allow private travel. The announcement was made by the East German Minister of Propaganda and broadcast on television. The changes were to take effect the next day so that they had time to inform the border guards, but the Minister had been on vacation and wasn't fully briefed of the situation. So, when he was asked by reporters when these changes were to be imposed he said, "As far as I know, effective immediately, without delay."

Tens of thousands of East Berliners started showing up at border crossings demanding to be allowed to pass. The guards had no idea what was going on and made hectic phonecalls to their superiors. Nobody in the East German government wanted to take responsibility for ordering the use of lethal force, so in the face of being wildly outnumbered the guards gave way. East Berliners were met on the other side by West Berliners in celebration! It must have been a beautiful and very emotional sight!

In the weeks and months that followed more border crossings were opened and citizens started breaking off pieces of the wall with sledgehammers. On June 13, 1990 the official dismantling of The Wall by the East German Military began which led to German reunification on October 3. Small sections of The Wall were left up as memorials. Today those sections are covered in murals by artists from around the world, known as The East Side Gallery, and a ton of graffiti.






There are many lessons to be learned. There are still many walls to break down.